Sunday, October 19, 2014

6 FREE YOURSELF

 

Often we suffer in silence, muted, we are caged by fear, afraid of being judged, dismissed, ridiculed and laughed at. While we die in degrees, haemorrhaging, pretending all is well. Silence though golden can also be deadly. 

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”Sigmund Freud

Humble You by Joseph MasilaThere is no one perfect way to healing and living life abundantly however truth is the key. The truth we must tell ourselves, the truth we must own on the journey to true healing.

We must be honest and  hold fast to personal integrity. I don’t claim to  have the “perfect” solution(s) to all of life’s ills . I do know however that bottling and suffocating on what distresses and pains us is certainly not the answer. It is toxic and it poisons us from the inside out saturating and debilitating our being finding an avenue of release with or without our consent.

SO WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?:

We  express ourselves in ways that is freeing, productive, positive, nourishing, healing and life affirming while doing the work necessary for living life abundantly.  

Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy.

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody© All rights reserved.

Art: Humble You by Joseph Masila

Monday, October 13, 2014

6 FRESHLY BAKED BREAD

I baked today. Between studying, participating in an online study group for an upcoming presentation and preparing lunch I made bread-Whole-wheat, oatmeal, wheat germ bread.

THE FIRST RISE

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THE HOLE PUNCH DOWN – FOR SECOND KNEAD 

IMG_5398

THE ROLL OUT

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IN THE PANS FOR THE SECOND RISE

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UNDER COVERIMG_5401

THE RISE – READY FOR THE OVEN

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BAKED AND READY TO EAT!

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YUM!

Saturday, October 4, 2014

20 THE SISTERHOOD OF THE WORLD BLOGGER AWARD

I have been blessed with the Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award.

Thank you Fredilia of Uniquely Different with Fredilia  I humbly accept the honour.

sisterhood-of-the-world-bloggers-award

As per the rule of acceptance (please see 1-5 below)

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and place a link back to their site P
  2. Put the “Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award on your blog P
  3. Answer their ten questions P
  4. Make up 10 new questions for your nominees P
  5. Nominate 10 bloggers P

I have completed my tasks (above and below) and now I pass the challenge unto my 10 nominees.

Uniquely Different with Fredilia  question to me: "Tell us about a part of you that you struggled with (e.g. a habit, nose, shape, leg) and how you overcame the fear."

The part of me that I struggled with the most was ownership of my own accomplishments of recognizing the value in the things I do. Allow me to shed a bit of light for the sake of clarity. I grew up for the most part in a very negative household where you would quicker hear about the things you failed at or didn’t do well than the things you excelled at or did well. Negative criticism was the daily diet; it was the “norm” of communication, action, behavior, ethos so it was only a matter of course that I internalize that and had it saturate my thinking and being. Hence I could not see, was unable to recognize the things I did well or accomplished. I could not speak to it, or give it value . I never saw them as anything other than doing what is necessary to being, nothing extraordinary, just necessary.

It wasn’t until years later when I was tasked with listing the things I did well, my accomplishments that I realized that I was taught by virtue of how I lived/grew up how not to know my worth, to place value in the things I could do. I argued fiercely with the person charged with accessing the information from me as she rapidly fired questions at me that resulted in 2 full pages each filled front and back of tasks that I can do, did, and accomplished. She looked at me triumphantly and asked, how can you say you know nothing, that you can do nothing, that you have no skills and we have two full pages back and front and we going on to a third and we are not close to even finishing yet. I was astonished. I sat there looking at her, looking back at the papers filled with things that I can do, have done, from top to bottom back to front and took a deep breath. I looked at her again. I was unable to speak but inside me I was jumping up and down, I was shouting, laughing, crying, thinking wow, that’s me, that’s me! I can do all those things. I never saw those things even though I did it all. I could not give value to what I did well. I took it all for granted. It was an invaluable gift. One I try to pass on when I am confronted with the opportunity. I teach what I’ve learnt without judgment but with much empathy.

My questions to my nominees: (warning, I don’t ask easy questions)

1.     Do you love yourself from the inside out to the outside in? (If yes move to question 5)

a.      If you answer NO for question #1 then proceed to #2

b.     If yes move to question #4

2.     What is stopping you from loving yourself wholly?

3.     As self-love is one of the keys to true happiness how do you plan to teach yourself how to love yourself as you are and understand that you are enough?

4.     What things do you do for yourself that enriches, nourishes and affirms your being?

5.     How do you hold yourself accountable for your poor decisions?

6.     Are you able to forgive yourself your humanness and move forward without beating up yourself and getting stuck in the, what should have been, if only I had?

7.     How do you celebrate you, your uniqueness and authenticity?

8.     How do you stay motivated, hopeful and faithful to you, your thoughts, beliefs and ideals?

9.     If you were your own parent what would be the one thing you would teach yourself?

a.      How have those lesson(s) changed you?

b.     It is said that what we learn we have a responsibility to teach, how do you plan to pass on the lessons to others who may be stuck where you were?

10.Are you being true to your inner self or are you busy pleasing everybody else?

o    If you are not being true to self, how’s that working for you?

My Nominees for THE SISTERHOOD OF THE WORLD BLOGGER AWARD are:

Ladies (sisters), please pick up your awards. Blessings to you all.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

10 EXPECTATIONS

truth is like a lionExpectations, pronounced ex·pec·ta·tion is neither bad or good it’s simply the art of expecting, waiting in eager anticipation.

Expectations can be complex, varied, and riddled with people's hopes and dreams. Frankly speaking it can set you up and take you down if it’s not managed well.

Who am I kidding? Expectations are at the nucleus of most ills. Don't believe me? Think of your core relationships, the heart of misunderstands stems from communicated expectations that is not in alignment with what you want or not communicated expectations from love ones that leaves you feeling dissatisfied, like you don’t measure up or you are not good enough.

Controversy often tends to follow expectations (communicated or not) if we are not willing to see, hear and understand the other's persons desires for their selves and their lives. the dilemma, the confusion, the struggle can cause heart break and disillusionment as we try to manoeuvre the weight of other people’s expectations that tries to dictate what we should do, what we ought to do, verses what you want to do and what you should know and shouldn't know verses what we do know. Sounds crazy right? Makes you want to throw up your hands and say, "bite me!" As intriguingly wonderful as that sounds and undoubtedly titillating to the mind it is not always practical or the best option if one wants/needs to maintain certain relationships. So what do we do when we hit that wall? We communicate.

Communication is the key to managing our expectations and those of others though it’s not always easy depending on the dynamic of the relationship. Understand however that even with the best of intentions and the verbalization on what you expect, it does not guarantee (sh*t) anything.  Right about now you probably thinking, 'so what's the point?' The point is we simply owe it to ourselves to try, to create an atmosphere foundation of transparency.

Expectations transparency allows the other person(s) the opportunity to make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to enter into an agreement, a relationship with you, to determine if they can live up to, fulfill or commit to that which you are expecting.

My point?

In order to get what you want you must be willing to lay your cards on the table and ask for what you want. Thus, allowing the person/persons the opportunity to show whether or not they are willing or interested in meeting, fulfilling one, many or any of your expectations; at which point you can either accept and stay or not accept and walk away.

Expectations must, yes I say MUST be communicated explicitly. You cannot hold anyone's foot to the fire (responsible) for failing to meet your expectations if you neglected to share what those expectations were. Neither can you hold them accountable for what you chose/consented to put up with, your decision/choice, your consequence.

Ask yourself this, are you honest and courageous enough to communicate exactly what you need and how you need it? Are you grown enough to listen to the expectations of others in your life and answer honestly if you are willing to deal or not?

Written by D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.

Friday, September 5, 2014

24 Be Humble, Be Thankful, Be Still

SAM_5235When you’ve had a rough day

And you are feeling down

Because it feels like nothing has gone right,

That whatever could go wrong has gone wrong.SAM_5065

Be still.

Look up,

Let go….

And breathe,

Take a breath,

Take two,

Let go….

Accept the things you cannot change (you don’t haveclouds at falling light to like it)

Just accept,

Be humble,

Be thankful,

For each breath

For the ability to see (even to bitch and mourn and complain)

SAM_5222For the right here,

For the right now,

For this moment of stillness.

Take the time to …

Enjoy it

To take in the kaleidoscope of Moonlight & Artificial light in Choruscolors above you (yes, even the gray)

The array of clouds,

The marvel of…

The sunlight,

The moonlight,

The starlight

All greeting you unprejudicely

Embracing you blazing sunset (3)with open arms,

No judgments

No condemnation

Just peace ….

Just Acceptance

Breathe

Take it all in

Capture the jewelled moment

And know

You are more that a bad Cloudy Day in Junemoment

You are more than the sum total of bad moments

You are blessed,

 in spite of all that has happened

you are, a blessing

And let it all be a reminder that….

Even on the worst days

The dark days,

The murky days,

The turbulent days,

Beauty can be found,

And it surrounds.

 

 

 D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All Rights Reserved

Monday, September 1, 2014

6 Be open, Be flexible, Be prepared

 
SAM_5225

Life is unpredictable, it is beautiful, it is messy and it can rock your world for the better or for the worst on any given day without your consent.

It is for that reason I realize my grandmother use to say, “Listen here girl”..."Do not put all your eggs in one basket."

In other words, be open...
....to exploring other possibilities
....to creating alternatives
....to understanding that there are different paths to attaining the same goal(s)
....to recognizing opportunities
....to being willing to do the work to achieve the goals
....to utilizing opportunities enabling continual growth, inspiration, motivation and satisfaction
....to being flexible (nothing is guaranteed, the wise learn how to flex, shift and accommodate change)

Understand…
…that you are designed to more than one purpose

Stay…
... Hopeful not entitled,

... Joyful not mournful,

...Enjoy life

And….

 …Manage your expectations

D.S.B.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.

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