Feb 28, 2015

24 ON ANGEL DUTY NOW

Oswald Gould, Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class on Angel Duty now.
We called him Ossie, my cousin. Today makes it one week since he has passed, gone on heaven ways leaving us to cope with his absence and find a way to move forward regardless. The world marches on without missing a beat, time not stopping just kept on ticking. Some days I go on without a hiccup. Some days I stop feeling like I have been slammed into a wall and I can’t breathe and I have to sit down.
Oswald (Ossie)
Oh cous, you will be missed. You were well loved, though at times like all of us you probably didn't always feel it as much when the family dynamics came into play. That's life; we all have our story to tell on that score.
I was the baby in my branch of the family but among all 9 of us kids Ossie was the baby. He was very handsome. God sure did take his time moulding him from beginning to end. He got the lion's share of masculine beauty plus that of the guy behind him in line, the guy in the middle of the line and the guy at the end of the line. He was cute as all get out. A gift I think at the times he felt was more of a curse than a blessing because whenever we had events Ossie use to have to hide from girls because they literally plastered themselves on him (I kid you not) while others flock to him like bees to honey. It was hilarious to see the “help me” look skitter across his face as he anxiously span the crowd looking for Tantie Jacqueline (his mom). My dear sweet handsome cousin was terrified. We all laughed at his expense of course kids being kids but he was seriously scared. He would run behind Tantie Jacqueline to hide sometimes begging her to protect him and keep him safe. When I think of those days I smile as I am smiling now.
Fast forward eons later, he the grown man, me the grown woman, living worlds apart. We managed to keep a connection through long phone conversations and mini texts back and forth, it wasn’t ideal but, it’s what family does, make the effort to say connected.
If you are reading this cous, yeah am talking to you, (don’t be rolling your eyes at me) thought you were gonna get a break huh, right! You keep dreaming buddy, you are not off the hook mister sweet delight, you are on angel duty now so check in, stay connected and lemme know what’s ahead when I hit a blind spot.
Peace
Love you much,
Hitting it straight from the hips not letting it slip, yeah I know, corny as hell but you loved me that way, gotta keep it one hundred as per usual…..
YOUR STRENGTH & ENDURANCE WERE INCREDIBLE
I admired your courage through the battle of stage 4 Nasopharyngeal Cancer.  You fought valiantly and surpassed all the limitations and boundaries they gave you.

Feb 14, 2015

38 LOVE

love

It makes the world go round. It heals, it inspires, it rejuvenates, it motivates, it uplifts.

May love lift you up and carry you through.

Happy Valentines Day

Jan 31, 2015

16 Healthy Body/Toxic Mind “if you’re not careful”

Eat healthy; it is tooted from pillar to post, from north to south, east to west, high and low. We are bombarded with best practices and gym owners and personal trainers are making a mint on our zest to eat right and exercise. But what of our minds and the insidious little ways we undermine, sabotage and contaminated it?

It is not enough to be mindful of what you put in your mouth in order to secure your health and body you must also be mindfully diligent about what you allow to feed your mind, impact your spirit and penetrate your soul. Just as certain foods & excessive amounts of the wrong choices can be poisonous to your body and health; so to can malicious people if you are not discerning and protective of your psyche (emotional and psychological being). Some people are just plain toxic and are just as dangerous and as devastating to your health. They can quite literally make you sick.

Be courageous enough to listen to your instincts about what you see, what you experience and what you feel and do the necessary cauterizing just as you would eliminate foods that are not good for you. If not, you are wilfully contaminating your being in preference of being liked, accepted all to the detriment of you.

Don’t be a participant in your own hurt, embarrassment, humiliation, shame and destruction, be accountable for you. It is not up to others to accept you; it is up to you to accept you.

True acceptance starts within and if you having a hard time with that, you got work to do. Get to working on you. You are worth the sacrifice required to experience true happiness, acceptance and love.

ASK YOURSELF THIS:

What good is a “great” body if your mind and spirit is a putrid sewer of toxic stew?

CREATE BALANCE:

By all means be healthy, just nurture your mind, spirit and body simultaneously; there should never be a choice.

Be the love that you need and don't be afraid to make the tough choices by eliminating that which is poisonous to your being.

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.

Jan 24, 2015

29 Dating Disasters – True Stories,

You can’t make this stuff up.

OH HELL TO THE NO!

dogThey had smooth conversations on the telephone, decided to take it to another level and go out for a nice stroll around the city.  The evening vibe was right, things flowing nice, she was feeling him thinking, ‘yeah, this is going alright, has some potential,’ until it was time to go home and he asked her for bus fare.

Me:        “please tell me you left his trifling ass and walked away and didn’t give that man a dime!”

She:       “wellllll, I was so shock and disgusted I just gave him the $3.00 bus fare and didn’t look back.”

HE DID NOT, SAY THAT!

They chatted online, on the phone; he passed all the no points to a first date. They had a nice dinner then to a coffee cafĂ© for coffee. The conversation shifts in to orbit as he ask, “so you gonna suck my dick?”  She stopped in mid-sip mouth open in muted shock. She excuses herself to use the bathroom, calls her friend who was nearby to pick her up with some emergency excuse and promptly leave him sitting there.

Me:        when I could catch my breath from laughing uproariously at the bold horror, “Tell me you got up and walk away immediately and left that fool sitting in his stupidity.”

She:       “I was so shocked I left for the bathroom and ask my friend to come get me, I deleted his number immediately.”

SAY WHAT! NO, HE DIDN’T!

She gets ready excitedly for her first date. By all accounts things were looking promising, after many conversations they made plans for a dinner and a movie. They meet at the designated place, they sit in his car. She asks:  when are we leaving for the movie?  He pulls down a screen, pops in a movie and pulls out a six pack of beer.

Me:        “you are frigging kidding me, hell you lying! Who does that?” I laughed till my sides hurt while she looks at me solemnly saying…

Her:       “am so done with this dating scene.”

WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GUYS?

They planned a date for mid week (Wednesday). Tuesday afternoon she receives a call from him. She asks, “Is something wrong do you want to postpone the date?” He responds, “no am just horny and wondering if you would give me a blow job before our date tomorrow.” She hangs up.

Me:        between shocked historical laughter and disgust I said, “You damn lie! Where in heaven’s name do you find these men, please tell because I don’t want to go there, damn!”

She:       “Clearly am doing something wrong, am so done with the dating scene.”

DERAILED

They met on the train, great conversation, and quick number exchange as each leave for their destinations. They talked on the phone. They agreed to meet face to face for some “get to know you better conversation.”

She is thinking, ‘the phone conversation ended kind of sketch. She answered all his standard questions (are you married, kids etc.,) though he was somewhat resistance answer the same questions i.e. sharing his relationship etc.  Filing it away for later she opts to take the “wait & see,” approach. If her instincts were correct then it will show up and he will eliminate himself.

They met; reintroduce their selves with a laugh and sat down to converse.  She started with the unanswered standard questions (a must in to determine whether to proceed further).

She:       “Are you married?” She asked and noticed a bit of a shift in his body language. Having been schooled on body language she made note but said nothing waiting for his response.

He:         “Yes, but I am separated,” he said not looking her in the eye.

Noticing his inability to look at her directly she decided to rephrased the question using his response and expanding it to get a more definitive answer.

She:       “So you are married but separated, are you still cohabitating (living with) with your wife?”

He:         “Yes, but my wife will be going back to Africa soon.”

She:       “ah huh, hmmm, do you have children?”

He:         “Yes I have 6 children.”

She:       “Ah, that’s wonderful, so where is your wife now?”

He:         “She is at home with the children, but she will be leaving for Africa soon.”

She listened and contemplated his responses and quickly realized that this particular course is not one she wanted to partake in. the prospect of getting involved with a married man with children and unfinished business he needed to sort out simply wasn’t a good idea for her. She ended the date.

She:        “Thank you for meeting with me; it was nice talking with you. I have to go now.”

He:         “So, when will I see you again?”

She stared at him silently.

He:         “Am not going to see you again am I?”

She:       “No.”

He:         “Why not?”

She:       “You have a lot going on, many loose ends you need to tie up and you need to be able to do that unencumbered by another. I have no desire to become entrenched in your family dilemmas. I have too much respect for myself for that. You owe it to your wife to give her some respect before bringing another woman into the mix before severing the matrimonial ties.  Thanks again for your time, bye.”

Jan 18, 2015

16 BACK TO REALITY

green flowerI would have gone out with you again, if only you didn’t eliminate yourself by begging me for money. 

Thanks for the warning.

I guess it’s true what Catherine Aird said… If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.”

Jan 12, 2015

31 THE WILL TO CHOOSE–CHOICE

SAM_5038

I could have

I didn't

That is what freedom of choice allows me to do

Deal with it

or

Not

Either way

It is

As I chose it to be

 

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©

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