May 23, 2016

4 The Wisdom of Confiding in Others

GET PERMISSION, DO NOT ASSUME
Before you confide in someone ask the person if they are willing to keep your confidence. Now I realize that some of you may bark at the idea of asking someone’s permission in a conversation before you disclose your concerns/conflict etc., and may go so far as to think that it is ludicrous and obscene even, it is not.
I cannot tell you the amount of times I have heard,overheard, made privy to people’s complaint about their “friends”, “families”coming to them with their problems and how they feel burdened and oppressed by it. It is the reason some of you may have and continue to experience the friends/family members who are always too busy, never picks up the phone,sporadically return calls or have an endless slew of excuses why they couldn’t be there for you.
I am not saying do not share or you should not share, in fact it is a healthy thing to share as no one person is an Island. I am saying do not assume face to facethe person(s) with whom you would like to disclose with is willing to listen and or keep your confidence. Sharing is great, it helps to clarify and solidify things. It also lets you know that you are not alone in the world and the problem that you may think is unique to you may be more common than you realize. You absolutely should not suffer in silence, after all as I have stated before, no one “man” (universal term) is an island. You simply must choose your confidant wisely and again, ask, do not assume.
Example: (one scenario of asking)
Rhapsody:   “Hey Jane, how are you doing?”
Jane:           “I am doing great; you however don’t look so great, are you alright?”
Rhapsody:  “Truthfully no, I need to speak with someone about something that is troubling me, I could do with another perspective, will you be willing to keep my confidence, and this must stay strictly between you and I. It is ok if you don’t want to I will not be offended in fact I’d appreciate the candour”.
Something like that, now you don’t have to use those exact words, after all you are not me, just put your linguistic personality spin on it, as long as you remember to ask and not assume. You don’t want to end up as somebody’s casual dinner conversation. Now lets be clear, asking won’t guarantee that the person or persons you choose to confide in won’t betray your trust. It simply establishes from the beginning between you and the party/parties involved the boundaries set out in the conversation to which there was an agreement.
A couple of the reasons for asking:
1.    Respecting the person’s right not to be involuntarily co-opted into keeping your secret.There is a responsibility in consenting to be someone’s confidant that may clash with their personal relationship(s).
o  How you ask, simple, some husbands and wives, partners etc., have rules that govern their relationship that best works for them that you may not be privy too and one of those rules maybe full disclosure of everything said outside of both of them, even on best friends confiding their secrets, hence what you say to he or she will be discussed with the spouse/partner. If you do not have a problem with that then go for it. If you do have issues with it then you may want to choose someone else to confide in.
2.    Not taking the person or persons trust, time and willingness to listen to you for granted.
In the end, if confidences are betrayed, they'll be no question as to intent. Just as one should ask before disclosing, if the confidant is unable to help (if it is a solution based problem) and has a source that may have some answers, then that confidant must come back to you and ask for your permission to disclose in order to find a solution. If you in turn say no then it stays between you.
Mindfulness Thought
Be mindful that you treat every relationship in your life like a precious commodity and not take any of it for granted and give respect where respect is due.
D.S.B,S Rhapsody ©All Rights Reserved

May 15, 2016

12 Coloring & Reading Through Stress–Afforable Theraphy

How do you manage your stress? Sometimes life can give some hard blows and we need to find healthy outlets to releave those stressers whilst journeying through life.

Some people enjoy yoga, going to the gym, running, going out with friends etc., Me I have many avenues one of which is coloring and reading. This week I bounced between the two. It was soothing.IMG_20160514_013043IMG_20160513_011444

Coloring by D.S.B.S. Rhapsody

#rhapsodyphoenix

May 3, 2016

14 FORGIVING THE SELF


Sometimes the biggest struggle we have in life is not just getting through, getting up or getting over, it is in forgiving ourselves our humanness. So often we hold on tight to our mistakes, poor decisions, and inappropriate behaviour unable to forgive ourselves. Our failure, unwillingness or inability to forgive ourselves our transgressions keeps us rooted in the past making our feet laden simultaneously disabling our ability to move up, move on, move forward and rise into excellence through forgiveness and grace.

We must be mindful that learning to forgive ourselves our humanness does that make us less accountable, it makes us responsible for what comes out of our mouth, our actions, our lives, our happiness, our growth and grace. Nirvana cannot be attained without the acceptance of self.

Accept yourself for who you are in each moment and allow yourself the space to learn, rise and grow from the journey of living.

--D.S.B.S.Rhapsody

Apr 28, 2016

18 “Don’t bite the hand that feeds” - Perception can be deception

I often hear people use this statement "don't bite the hand that feeds" to sum up another’s seemingly ungrateful, disrespectful and overall bad attitude toward another who is the provider, the giver, the “saviour” so to speak and while that may be true in some situations it is not always true to all situations and should not be generally apply to all.

What I have observed with many people that apply this parable, “don’t bite the hand that feeds” or “he/she is biting the hands that feeds them” is often not privy to all the facts. It is a blanket determination of a person or persons supposed character. Frankly “don’t bite the hand that feeds” is a moral judgment.

The truth is "the hands that feed” can often occupy dual or multiply roles and those roles may not always be to the benefit of the “eater” i.e. the benefactor because the “hand that feeds” can also be the hands that strangle, choke, beat, violate, negate, oppress and depress.

We should all exercise caution before predetermining who we believe a person is or is not based on what we perceive. 

The Moral:
It is wise to not judge what we do not have all the facts to for what we see is not always what is. What looks good is not always good and what we may “perceive” about a situation or others may crumble under the reality of truth for perception without facts to create certainty is just perception not truth. 

"Perception can be deception" --
D.S.B.S.Rhapsody








think before you speak....

Apr 17, 2016

25 Rise Through Adversity

The sun shines everyday no matter the weather. It rises through the storm, in the rain, during cloudy hazy days, in subzero temperatures. Lets embrace the sun's philosophy and rise no matter the situation and challenges.
All photos were taken by me D.S.B.S.Rhapsody


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