Saturday, August 16, 2014
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
“Life is filled with many unexpected turns thus we must adapt and cultivate some of the characteristics of the willow tree so that we not only survive but thrive gracefully. “ –D.S.B.S Rhapsody
Have you ever noticed how a sunset always manages to look beautiful no matter the weather?
Have a blessed and joy filled week.
D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Today I visited a website called Blackdoctor.org and found this very interesting article on weaves and braids (W&B). It states that W&B contribute to permanent hair loss among women of African lineage.
According to website, of the 362 participants in the study conducted, over a ¼ had hair loss on the top of their scalp and 59% of those women, had signs of central centrifugal cicatricial alopecia (CCCA), baldness that begins at the crown of the head and leads to scarring.
It’s a known fact among people of African lineage no matter where in the world they hail from that we do all manner of things to our hair, from hot combing (pressing), to relaxing (permanently straightening) to putting in extensions (single braids/cornrows), weaves (sew in weaves or glued in tracks) to wearing wigs. It’s a ritual that at times can be a brutal experience and brutalizing to our hair.
I remember my mother pressing my hair when I was a child and mammy would say, “don’t move or you will get burn,” and I would sit stiffly dreading “the burn,” praying. I could feel the heat from the iron comb (hot comb) at the nape of my neck, forehead and ears. My mother would blow on the heated comb which she took off the stove to redirect the smothering heat away from those vulnerable areas to ensure I didn’t burn. I could smell my hair frying; hear the sizzling sound of hair as it went from tight curl to bone straight. My mom was good I rarely got burn but on those rear occasions when I did, Lord have mercy I would squeal like a pig to the slaughter. Sometimes I had friends who would show up to school/church/party with hair loss where the iron was too hot and it just took that part of the hair off completely or burnt marks around the nape of the head, forehead and ears and we would all chorus, “You moved your head.”
I am a naturalista (have natural hair) although I must confess to perming (which damaged my hair terribly), using extensions for single braids or cornrows which I did myself so it was not done tightly. One day, I went with my fast self and had someone put in extensions cornrow style for me, because I wanted a particular fancy do. It looked so good but holy mother of God, it was mad tight. I couldn’t smile or blink my eyes. I vacillated between ‘ooh it look so good to father Jesus help me I can’t bend my head the pain was so intense’ as the back would pull as if someone was trying to deliberately tear my hair right out of my skull. I took all that I could take, by the time I reached home I couldn’t stand it anymore and I sat down and removed every single one. I was in too much pain. I had bumps around the nape of my head and around my ears it was so tight (I do not ascribe to the “beauty is pain” ethos, not this sistah). I guess that’s the blackdoctor.org website are referring to, the excessive tightness that is akin to murder on the scalp and then it is left in for months!
“Black women often maintain these styles for long periods of time, and the stress they exert on the scalp can lead to the development of pus-filled bumps, and “Over time, these bumps can develop bacteria” that can lead to scarring.”
So ladies (and gents), be mindful and careful about styling your hair. Be kind to your scalp and it would be kind to you by letting you keep your hair! I know many of you love your weaves and braids but you got to give your hair a break from even that sometimes. Why not rock some wraps or if you can afford it wigs, the kind you can just pull on but please, please, please, comb your hair before dawning wigs just in case it comes off.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Needle and thread
I remember as a child mommy calling me
“Thread this needle feh meh nah, ah cah see to do it meh self.”
About a month ago I woke my daughter at 7 am, apologetic and pleading
“Thread this needle feh meh nah, ah cah see to thread it meh self.”
Necessity requiring thinking outside the box,
Needle threader required
D.S.B.Rhapsody© All rights reserved.
Monday, July 14, 2014
I often hear people say, "You can't help whom you love" or "whom you fall in love with." A myriad of justifiable excuses are given to support their actions especially if it involves the disintegration of a marriage, long term relationship and or a friendship. The standard line is "It just happened".
Oh hell to the no, it did not just happen. Lightening did not strike knocking the unfaithful ones unconscious rendering them helplessly into each other’s arms only to have them open their eyes and find their selves involuntarily fused in a tawdry affair. Give me a frigging break already. Don’t get me wrong here, I get it. I understand how one can get swept up in the emotions and overwhelm with the psychical chemistry and all that good stuff. However, as sweet as intoxicating as it all is, it does not negate ones responsibility when others are involved. If each person upon meeting is unencumbered I say, go for it, knock yourselves out, drown in your love and bask in your juicy possibilities of happily ever after. But don’t try to sell me that bullshit of “it just happened” because frankly it’s an excuse and seriously that excuse just won’t fly. To put it bluntly, it’s downright pathetic.
I mean there is a whole process that is deliberately glossed over and ignored in favour of the “I”, the “Me”, the lust, the "We" in order to avoid the consciousness of the choices that people make to get what they want, when they want it, to have affairs and infiltrate relationships.
The truth of the matter is, one may or may not be able to control “whom they love” or even “whom they fall in love with,” but they can certainly choose what “they do” about it. The choice to surrender to their desire and hope of what “could be” is entirely within their power and control. To do or not to do is never the question. It is whether or not the people caught in the chasm of the forbidden fruit of lust and the call of love chooses to follow their desire regardless of the pain they know their actions will inflict. That is not an “oops,” that is a deliberate calculated act of deceit and wilful betrayal.
I sound like a hard ass right. You probably saying, it happens and I would agree sure it happens. There are times you encounter someone and the chemistry is off the charts. It leaves you feeling like the powers that be have a weird sense of humour because let’s face it there is nothing worst that making a solid passionate connection with someone only to find out he/she is unavailable. That knowledge in itself can be a royal mind fuck if you let it. If you let yourself play that “if only” game (if only he/she was single, if only we had met years before etc., etc., you get the drift), no good comes from it. It’s a toxic fusion of futility that messes with your psyche.
Sometimes the easiest yet hardest thing to do when you are in love with someone that is unavailable is to walk away.
IF IT HELPS:…
Try putting yourself in the unsuspecting partner’s shoes and have some wilful interloper claiming to love the one you love with clear malice intent of fracturing your union and see how understanding you will be, how much you will root for "true love" when it means you're the one getting your heart stomped on.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE:
You see in the end, no matter how you feel, how deep your passion flows, how overwhelming its expressions. As long as that person is unavailable, you have the choice to walk away and not make up excuses to stay and help betray and rupture a union. You may not be able to help whom you love; you can however choose what to do about it.
“A house built on sand will not stand the test of time”
D.S.B.Rhapsody©All Rights Reserved.
Friday, July 4, 2014
You know life sometimes can be plagued with inconsideration and challenges that teach you every day the value of picking your battles, today was no exception. Instead of going into a long drawn out story allow me to use well-oiled sarcasm to convey my points.
To the woman smoking this morning at the bus stop that blew smoke in my direction and left me smelling like I just finished 5 hours of intensive bar hopping, thank you, I just love going to work first thing in the morning smelling like cheap tobacco. Who wouldn't love smelling like eau de toilette smoke? Thank God for my two feet that allowed me to move away briskly.
To the man on the bus that greeted me ever so graciously with a swift jab in my side with his bag, thank you, the only thing that made the experience better was the continued incessant digging every time the bus moved or pulled to a sudden stop. I really appreciated the acknowledgement of your caresses; one always loves knowing they are loved. My requests to please remove your bag clearly fell on deaf ears, luckily for me, there was just enough room for me to strategically maneuverer myself away from you.
To the young man in the back of the bus loudly playing his mp3, thank you for generously sharing your music with me. I basked in the lyrical content of bitches, whores, thugs and money aggressively delivered, such sweet music first thing in the morning mellowed me right out. I only wished you could have turned up the volume a little louder so that the driver could have had the opportunity to share and enjoy my wonderful experience; after all, I was merely seated 2 seats behind him enjoying your music.
Last but certainly not least to the woman on the train drinking pop and smacking her lips loudly after every sip, interrupted only by your sweet melodious burps, thank you ever so kindly for that experience your dinning etiquette is simply superb. The only blessing through that experience was the joy of knowing I will never have the disturbing pleasure of dinning with you.
You all made my morning just splendid, may I never have the unfortunate pleasure of encountering you all again.
Hope you all had a nice day and you encountered others with as much consideration and mindfulness of others as you demonstrated today.